Moan for me like Helen Keller
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
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