This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
operation have a gay friend backfired
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
