i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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