Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
