Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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