Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I wish there were birth control emojis
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
