But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
