I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
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no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
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It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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