OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
