is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize