so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
