Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
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