is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
