my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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