Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
