I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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