bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I fill condoms, not promises.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
