Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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