Your mouth is God's brothel.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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