I'm eating all of the evidence.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just invented taco cereal.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
