just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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