found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Randomize
