Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
