just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
