some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
