i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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