# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
