If i come over, it means nothing
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
