ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
