Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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