you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
