How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
