I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
