Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
the day after is always just damage control
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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