i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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