i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Still dying that you shit outside
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
