he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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