And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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