i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
