the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize