They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
