Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
