Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm at about main and main street
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
