D3 body, D1 cock
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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