My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
