Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize