he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It's never too late to be topless.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
