Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
