I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
