D3 body, D1 cock
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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