Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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