Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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