I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize