My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
