I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked and annoyed.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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