eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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