i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
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