The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
