used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
