yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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