If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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