i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
ttyl tear gas
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
